I am a High School teacher (Female) and I teach a sex education class (all girls, no boys). I observe the girls at our school and I am struck at how aggressive the girls are with boys. I handed out an anonymous questionnaire (standard from the state approved curriculum) and I was pleasantly surprised to see how many girls were still virgins. Nonetheless, most of them marked down that they do engage in oral sex with their boyfriends, with (and get this) the girls more likely being on the receiving end. Although a rather high number marked that they had given oral, the number was higher for the number of girls that had received oral sex.
I was recently talking to one of my students, an intelligent sixteen-year-old girl that has a bright future. She really has her head on straight and she takes Advanced Placement classes and is a straight “A” student. I was asking her about her and her friend’s dating habits. She was very open with me and rather mature beyond her years.
She told me that it’s not uncommon for girls her age to dominate their boyfriends. She has been in a relationship for over a year now and she told me that she is unquestionably the leader of the relationship and sex is all about her. She pointed out that she was not alone. She told me that it was normal for girls her age to pressure their dates into “going down on them”. She told me that she knew several girls, herself included, who intended to save sex for marriage and are very happy confining sex to cunnilingus. I asked her if most of her friends “went down on boys?” She said a few but most did not. She did not. This really blew me away.
I am not sure what to think about this but I can’t help but believe that this is positive. While it would be preferable that high school students not engage in any sex, I think that is becoming unrealistic with all the peer pressure and the constant bombardment of sexual images in the media and popular culture. These kids have raging hormones and it is very hard for them to abstain. However, I see a positive trend in the number of girls that are saying no to intercourse. I also think it shows something about the societal evolution you talk about in that these girls are pressuring their boyfriends to go down on them but they may not necessarily return the favor. Maybe it’s the feminist in me, but I believe this is a positive development.